Hello boys, girls and other (there's always one).
I am back, albeit for a probably brief time. Very brief in fact. Mr Ninja has been supremely busy with life and has been doing many exciting things which I have no intention of sharing with you.
I am sharing a little info on my new pet monkey Mr Tom-Tom.
I was on a mission deep in the jungles of Kalimantan, on the hunt for a gang of pirates that had been terrorising a group of warrior-nuns that live over there (the pirates had also been doing stuff I do not agree with, but that's a longer story). I had been tracking them for several hours when I eventually came to their base of up-turned milk crates. I was ready to dispatch them in a heart beat - not mine, obviously. Ninjas don't have hearts to beat. My eagerness was met, however, with a problem. I'd been beaten to it. Recently too.
That was when I heard a splashing sound some distance away. I sprinted towards it, brushing leaves, ferns and whole trees away with a deft whip of my razor-sharp hands and arrived just in time to see a final pirate pass from this life to . . . well, the eternal emptiness beyond it. All at the hands of Mr Tom-Tom. I just thought to myself, "I've gotta have him".
Obviously, he still has a little way to go before he's a proper ninja monkey - for a start, he can't be getting all depressed about killing! He will learn with time to be completely cold, impassionate and calculating. It's probably just some strange, teenage monkey-phase, right?
Anyway, that's my news for now.
Kill you later!